Regulation Through Play: How Simple Games Can Help Kids Feel Safe, Seen, and Connected

If you’re a parent wondering how to better support your child’s emotional well-being—especially during moments of anxiety, disconnection, or big feelings—Theraplay might be a helpful approach to learn about. It’s not just for therapists; many of its techniques can be gently practiced at home to strengthen your bond with your child.

What is Theraplay?

Theraplay is a type of play-based therapy that focuses on creating warm, safe, and structured interactions between adults and children. Think of it as a way to “re-wire” moments of disconnection by using nurturing play and gentle games that help a child regulate their nervous system and feel emotionally safe again.

At its core, Theraplay is based on attachment science and brain development, specifically tapping into the parasympathetic nervous system—the part of the body that helps us calm down and feel safe. It’s particularly helpful for children who are anxious, withdrawn, easily dysregulated, or who’ve experienced relational or developmental trauma. But honestly, it can benefit any child who could use extra connection.

Why This Approach Works

Drawing from Dr. Bruce Perry’s Neurosequential Model, Theraplay views emotional and behavioral struggles not as “problems to fix,” but as places where development may have gotten stuck. Through playful, sensory-based connection, the adult helps the child re-engage in developmentally appropriate ways. As Complex Trauma Resources puts it, this is called a bottom-up approach—starting with the body and feelings first, instead of logic or reasoning.

This is especially important for kids who may not have the words yet for their emotions, or who shut down when asked to “talk about it.” Through co-regulation—sharing calm, safe moments—the adult becomes the anchor, helping the child experience safety from the outside in.

Two Simple Activities You Can Try

Here are two Theraplay-inspired games, taught by Dr. Amelia Taylor, that are great for building connection and emotional regulation. These are easy to try at home with young children (ages 3–12):

🖐 Hand-Stacking (for structure and focus)

This is a playful, predictable game similar to peekaboo. You and your child take turns stacking hands—yours on top of theirs, then theirs on top of yours—until the child’s face disappears behind the hands. Then, reverse the process until their face is revealed again. It helps regulate arousal and attention while building shared rhythm and structure.

🌬 Cotton Ball Touch (for nurture and sensory awareness)

Have your child close their eyes. Gently touch a part of their hand, arm, or face with a soft cotton ball and ask them to guess where the touch came from. Check in along the way: “Does this feel okay?” or “Let me know if you want to stop.”This simple game builds trust, helps kids tune in to their bodies, and encourages them to speak up about their comfort—all key parts of self-regulation.

Why This Matters

These types of activities may look simple on the outside, but what’s happening on the inside is powerful. You’re helping your child learn how to return to calm, recognize their feelings, and feel safe in connection with another person. As Dr. Taylor explains, some children need help down-regulating (calming their system), while others need help up-regulating (waking up and engaging). Either way, you’re helping them become more balanced, and eventually, more resilient.

Whether you’re parenting a child with a trauma history or just seeking better ways to connect during challenging moments, these activities can help. They’re especially useful for children who struggle with anxiety, big emotions, or transitions. And as a parent, you get to be the healing element—not by doing everything perfectly, but by showing up with warmth, structure, and play.